Ascension is Overrated
by Mozambique
Summary: Major Charlie Kawalsky is being given a chance to earn his wings. His assignment: Jack O'Neill... sj
1. Second Chances and True Love

**Title:** Ascension is Overrated

**Author:** Mozambique

**Pairing:** S/J

**Spoilers: **Up through season 9, Avalon. Major spoilers for Threads though.

**Disclaimer: **I am not the creator of Stargate SG-1 and sadly do not own any characters mentioned in the following fan fiction. I am only borrowing them and promise to put them back when I'm done. Hopefully with as little harm as possible.

**Notes: **This is in response to ReganX's Guardian Angel challenge posted in the Stargate Challenge forum. I've changed it a little bit but it should still fill all the requirements when finished. It's also for all those people who thought my last Sam/Jack story was a bit depressing (oh how I agree with you), this should be a bit more fluffy. I hope you enjoy.

* * *

Chapter 1 

It wasn't often that the higher powers came and offered one of us "lost souls" a chance to gain life in death. It hadn't happened in the eight years that I've been here and from the mutterings of everyone else, I felt safe in guessing it hadn't happened in a long time before that either.

But even the fact that one of them came down here wasn't the strangest part of what happened. The strangest part of it all was that he was offering this ascension crap to me. Because, you know, it wasn't like I had done anything in my life to deserve a second chance and the memories I did have of life were a lot better then those that some of the souls here had. I had seen and done things that most would deem impossible and unbelievable. It was more then any man could have asked for.

Of course I said yes, who wouldn't? A chance to live again? To know all the secrets of the universe? And besides, I had been cheated out of life. Maybe I hadn't painted the Sistine Chapel or discovered the Polio Vaccine, but I had gone on the very first mission through the Stargate, and the second. It wasn't fair that my life was stolen by a snake invading my body. I wanted to live.

The minute this higher being showed up, things got very very quiet. People stopped muttering, screaming and arguing and all turned to watch this man progress through our ranks from a Stargate that had appeared out of no where. It was obvious that he wasn't one of us: he kind of glowed and it was a huge contrast to the dark, graying colors around us. I watched him, just as fascinated. And he was coming straight towards me.

"Major Kawlsky," the man greeted. His dark eyes boring into me in a way that made me feel like he was seeing my soul. Maybe he was.

"Depends who's asking," I replied, ever cheekily. The man smiled at me and motioned for me to get to my feet.

"Walk with me," he said and I followed obediently.

"Heard of soul mates?"

"Fairy tale nonsense," I scoffed.

"No, just extremely rare. The reason you lower beings consider it the stuff of stories is because most of the time, the two souls never meet. It's tragic really."

I stopped and turned to look at him, very skeptical. "You're trying to tell me, that everyone has just one perfect counter part? And that they have to find that one person out of the billions on earth?"

"No, they have to find that one person out of the infinite number of people in the universe."

"You really expect me to believe that?" This was getting too weird and I had no idea why it was important anyway.

He shrugged and said, "Whether you believe or not, doesn't matter."

"And what does this have to do with me?"

"You want a second chance at life? The collective has decided to give you that chance."

"In return for what?" And here we got to the bottom line. Nothing was ever given for free. He smiled indulgently and continued walking.

"All you need to do is watch over Jack O'Neill – "

"You mean like a guarding angel?" I interrupted in surprise.

He paused for a moment, "If you wish. But you don't really need to look out for O'Neill, you need to help him realize that he has everything he's ever asked for if he'd just open his eyes."

"Meaning?"

"The other half of his soul."

"A soul mate, Jack has a soul mate? You're kidding me." I started laughing. The idea of Colonel Jack O'Neill – the man whose heart had turned to ice a long time ago – having a soul mate was probably the funniest thing I had heard in my entire lifetime. But my amusement dwindled when I realized that ascended being was not laughing. "Okay, maybe not. So I do this, then what happens?"

"We'll ascend you."

"And if I fail?"

"Then you simply come back to this."

Well, that wouldn't be too bad then. At least it wouldn't get any worse.

"Guess I don't have anything to lose. Will Jack be able to hear me?"

"And see you, but no one else."

"Well this will be a piece of cake then. Who is it?"

"Who's who?" The man said, smiling at me in a way that made it perfectly clear that he knew who I was referring to.

"Jack's soul mate," I said, exasperated

"You'll have to determine that for yourself. Are you ready?"

The man pointed to the Stargate which with all the talking, I hadn't even realized that that was where we had been walking towards. I stood at the base for a moment, looking up at the puddle of water. The last time I had stepped through this, I had been a Goa'uld.

I turned one more time and looked at the man, "Not even a hint?" He just smiled and I took a step forward through the Stargate and back into the SGC.

* * *

Finding Jack was harder then I thought it was going to be. He wasn't in any of the normal places I had expected. I checked the commissary, the rec room, the gym, even Captain Carter and Daniel Jackson's labs though why he'd be hanging out there I had no idea. In a last ditch effort I tracked down his office, but the name on the door said the room now belonged to a Dr. J. Felger. 

Eventually, I headed up to the briefing room and took a seat in one of the large black chairs. He couldn't be off world could he? What would be the point of sending me here now if Jack wasn't even around? I dropped my head into my hands, elbows on the table and sighed. This wasn't going anywhere.

"Oh for crying out loud!"

I raised my head. Only one person I knew every said that: Jack. That's when I saw him. He was more weathered then I remembered, his hair had definitely grayed but it was Jack. He was sitting in General Hammond's office with a mound of paper work around him. I got up and opened the door without a knock. He glanced up at the intrusion and his face turned white.

"Kawlsky?"

"Hey, Jack," I said. "It's been a while."

* * *

**AN:** Hope you enjoyed. I welcome any positive feedback or constructive criticism. 


	2. Lt Colonels, Generals and CIA Agents

A/N: So all I can say is that I'm sorry that it has been so long. I will make no excuses and just tell you the truth – I had a really hard time writing this chapter. Luckily though, I did get 90 of the end done so hopefully it will start coming faster then this. Oh, a couple of notes… There will be some third person from Jack's POV in here. I know you all liked Kawalsky's POV but I had this planned from the beginning. Hopefully it will be clear when they switch. Also, I know Sam isn't wearing her jacket in the office scene at the beginnings of Threads but I couldn't figure out how else to do it. I tried to stick to the episode as best as I could otherwise. And thank you so much for all the reviews last time! I hope that you guys enjoy this chapter as much.

**Warning: this has HUGE spoilers for the season 8 episode Threads. If you don't want to know what happens, please stop reading. **

* * *

"_Kawalsky?"_

"_Hey, Jack," I said. "It's been a while."_

**Chapter 2**

And then I noticed the stars. Who in their right mind…

"You're a general?"

Jack picked up the coffee cup on his desk and peered into it, giving it a little extra swirl for emphasis. "I will never trust Walter with my coffee again." He poked at it, peered at it and eventually put it back on the desk.

"Sometimes a coffee is just a coffee, Jack."

"Well I like it better then the alternative."

"Which is?"

"That I've finally lost it."

I started laughing. "I'll say." Jack looked up at me sharply. "I mean, not only was somebody crazy enough to make you a general but you actually accepted." Jack glared at me for a few moments, I just stared back, full of mirth.

Finally he said, "They say that the more you acknowledge a hallucination, the more real it seems."

"Do they?" I asked with real interest. I'd never heard that before.

"I have no idea," Jack admitted.

"I'm not a hallucination, Jack."

"No, you're not. You're dead," Jack said. It sounded more like he was trying to convince himself that though.

Okay, so this might be a problem. I hadn't really considered the possibility that Jack wouldn't believe that I was really here. No one had mentioned I'd actually have to convince Jack that I wasn't some figment of his imagination.

"Well, the powers that be decided to give me a second chance," I said.

"So, not dead?" He asked, giving me a confused look and a raised eyebrow.

"No, I am."

Jack rubbed his temples and shook his head. "You ascended?"

"I've been given a task," I said, deciding it was best not to go any further into the discussion of just what exactly I was. It would only confuse the both of us. Jack was rapping his fingers on the desk and giving me a look that clearly said to continue. "To pull your head out of your ass."

There was silence. A long silence. "Well, as long as you're around and being a nuisance, mind doing me a favor? Go get Carter for me and –"

"I can't, Jack," I interrupted before he could get too far.

He turned suddenly angry and pointed a finger at me rather threateningly. "Don't give me that crap about not affecting the lower planes. I've heard it before. I didn't buy it then, and I'm not buying it now."

"No, I mean I can't," I said again. "You're the only one who can see or hear me."

"Well what good are you then?"

I was about to tell Jack that I wasn't sent to be his personal assistant when an airman I vaguely recognized knocked on Jack's half open door.

"Sir, Agent Johnson is here to see you," he said to Jack. I stood there awkwardly realizing for the first time how hard it was not being seen by anyone but Jack.

"Thank you, Walter. You can send her in." Jack then turned to me. "Look, Kawalsky, whatever you're here to say, say it and leave. Now really isn't a good time for me. I've got a mountain of paperwork, one of my best men is missing, there's still the threat of this ancient weapon –"

But before he could finish, Jack was interrupted by the arrival of one Agent Johnson. And to be quite frank, at that moment I would have given just about anything to be real flesh and blood.

88888888888

"I can come back if this isn't a good time, General," Kerry Johnson said as she stood in the door way of Jack's office. She had caught the tail end of Jack's little speech and seeing no one else in the room, figured it was meant for her ears.

Jack looked away from Kawalsky and stood up. "No, come in. I was just talking to myself." He knew it wasn't the best cover up but didn't have the energy to try harder. Kerry didn't push it and Jack was grateful for it.

"I brought by the reports on our latest suspicions," Kerry said as she handed Jack a vanilla folder. "You said to keep you informed."

"So I did." Jack took the report, letting his hand brush against Kerry's for a moment longer then was completely necessary. But as soon as he could, Jack tossed it on the desk. Neither of them were under any false pretext that Jack would actually read the file. It wasn't that he didn't care about loose Gou'ald running rampant around Earth; it was that he had enough on his plate and trusted Kerry to take care of it. This was just an excuse to see each other and they both knew it.

Kawalsky came around to Jack's side of the desk and whistled. "You are one lucky son of a bitch, Jack." Jack turned and glared at his old buddy. What he would give to make Kawalsky leave right now.

"You sticking around for the weekend?" Jack asked.

"You still have the weekend off?" She asked, tucking a strand of loose curly hair behind her ear.

"How is it that you get everything, huh?" Kawalsky complained. Jack ignored him and turned his full attention on Kerry.

"As much as I could get off," he promised.

"You get promoted," Kawalsky continued, seemingly oblivious to what was going on in front of him. "You don't die –"

"Then I'll be here for the weekend." Kerry smiled and Jack found himself having to shake his head. Those thoughts needed to end right here. They were not appropriate on base. "I better go and make sure you actually have food in the fridge."

"I think I have pasta."

"Yeah?" Kerry laughed.

"And beer. I'll come home we'll talk about the Gou'ald situation –"

"- heck, you don't even become a snake head, you get this comfy chair – " Jack sneaked a quick look at Kawalsky who was currently treating Jack's office like it was his own. In an act of vengeance, Jack pushed the chair in roughly as he made his way over to Kerry and was rewarded with a bit of an umph.

If Jack had stopped to think about it, he would have realized something was wrong. The desk or chair should have gone right through his friend. But he was too preoccupied with the dazzling women in front of him to notice.

"Wine, Jack," she said. "We are not having beer with pasta."

"Yeah, okay," he consented. "I think I still have a bottle somewhere in the basement."

"Then we'll _talk_." Kerry had turned slightly, making it clear that she was leaving and that she meant anything but talk.

Jack smiled. "I'll tell you everything I know." And with one last flirtaous glance, she was gone and Jack shut the door behind her.

"– and you get the girl," Kawalsky was practically yelling. "Why? Why in all that is holy was it my turn to die?"

But as he turned to give his old friend a piece of his mind he found Carter standing in the briefing room, watching him with a suspicious look on her face. Making Kawalsky bug off was going to have to wait.

888888

In less time then it took to reload a P-90, the fun flirtaous atmosphere dissipated, only to be replaced with tension so thick I began to have trouble breathing. The cause of all this turned out to be someone I did recognize, Captain Samantha Carter – though by the leaves on her shoulders she wasn't a Captain anymore.

What else had I missed in the last eight years? Jack was now a Brigadier General and Carter had been promoted not once, but twice. What next? Dr. Daniel Jackson in charge of SG-1?

You die once and suddenly you're not in Kansas anymore.

"Forget it! I'm not fallin' for it this time," Jack was saying vehemently in a discussion I had been doing my best to ignore. It wasn't working as well as I had hoped.

"Falling for it?" Carter repeated slowly. There was something about her tone that I didn't like.

Jack leaned forward onto his elbows in all seriousness and said, "Yeah! How many times have you thought he was gone, and then he shows up – in one form or another. I'm sorry, but we're not having a memorial service for someone who is not dead."

Carter was still starring at Jack skeptically and it was obvious she wanted to say something but she wisely held back.

Cocking his head Jack yelled out, "You hear that! I'm not buyin' it!" Oh yeah, he had definitely lost it. Speaking to someone who wasn't there at all. Even Carter gave him a suspicious look. Jack turned back to her. "What? He's just waitin' for us to say a bunch of nice things about him. Next thing you know, he'll come waltzin' through that door," Jack held out his hand to the open door, "like, right now. Waltzing ... now."

But no one came through. Carter just shook her head and after a moment Jack looked back down at the paper work Agent Johnson had left for him. He tapped his pen against the desk a few times and then looked back up at Carter. "Anyway, until we hear from Daniel, SG-1 is on stand down."

"Sir?" Carter seemed stunned and I detected just a hint of panic in her voice.

"You're on leave, Carter, which means I want you to take a break." Jack paused for a moment and then seemed to remember something and added, "Off base."

Carter clenched her fists and opened her mouth to argue but all that came out was a very defiant, "Sir."

"Don't you have a wedding to plan?" Jack interrupted. Though it was said in a very light tone, there were harsh undertones to his words that made me pause. "You've been off world for quite a few days now, I'm sure Pete is eager to see you."

Carter smiled sadly and said softly, "Yes, Sir, I'll go inform Teal'c" before doing her own waltzing out of Jack's office.

I watched Carter leave and was surprised to see that Jack was watching as well. Oh well, if there was bad blood between them what did it matter? I wasn't here to deal with that. I wasn't here to deal with Carter. I was here to help Jack find his soul mate.

Pushing any thought of Carter from my mind I turned back to my friend. Agent Kerry Johnson was who I needed to be thinking about. "Like I said earlier, you are one lucky son of a bitch."

"I mean, she's beautiful," I said sinking into the chair opposite of Jack's desk and kicking my legs up onto it.

"I know," Jack replied.

"Her hair, her eyes, her legs… not to mention other aspects."

Jack smiled wistfully. "And she's smart, intelligent, and knows how to handle a stressful situation. She understands when I don't want to talk and she laughs at my jokes –"

I laughed. "Now that is hard to believe."

"Well, she at least smiles at them even when no one else will."

God my life was easy. They were obviously perfect for each other and obviously in love. In fact, this was beginning to sound a little too perfect. Why did the Higher Powers need me if Jack had already hooked up with his soul mate?

"Sounds like you have things pretty well under control," I said swinging my legs down from his desk. "So when are you going to ask her to marry you?"

Jack froze and starred at me in shock. The shock quickly turned to a glare and that was becoming darker and angrier by the second. "Kawalsky are you nuts? Maybe you didn't realize that these stars on my shoulder actually mean something, but I'm the commanding officer of this entire base. I can't date anyone under my command and most certainly not my 2IC. It's against regulations."

There was silence after Jack's spiel as my mind slowly began to process what he had said and a couple of missing puzzle pieces began to fill in.

"Who are you talking about, Jack?" I asked slowly.

"Huh?" This time it was Jack's turn to look startled.

"Cause I was talking about that beautiful CIA agent, Ms. Johnson."

"Oh, yeah, she's great."

But he didn't sound so sure. He sounded a bit distracted and he was starring at something in the briefing room. I turned and found myself looking once again at Carter. She was talking to a young captain that I didn't know but as I watched she looked back at us – no, at Jack – and smiled softly, a slight blush coming to her cheeks.

Now it all made sense; now I knew why I was needed here. Jack was clearly in love but someone was holding him back. I was here to get rid of that obstacle.

I had to remove one Samantha Carter from Jack's life.


	3. YoYos, Engagement Rings and Bets

A/N: Okay, so I think I scared a few people by saying Kawalsky was going to 'get rid of Sam.' Sam is not going to die, people. Go back and read my disclaimer info on the first chapter. This is a Sam/Jack story which would be kind of hard to do if I killed off Sam. Also, this follows the episode "Threads," which I'm sure you've all seen (I hope so anyway). Please note that in the episode, Sam does not die. Sorry, off that tangent. I actually liked the response I got to that; there were just a few people in particular who I think I really freaked out. Thanks for all the reviews again, it's for you guys that I'm still working on this story. Also, I have it up faster aren't you happy? Chapter 4 is almost done and Chapter 5 is done so this story should be completed by the end of the summer at least. Just be warned that I am away from the computer for a few weeks at a time because of my job, but I will get it up when I can. Then I have some new ideas. We'll see what happens… Anyway, enjoy!

**Warning: this has HUGE spoilers for the season 8 episode Threads. If you don't want to know what happens, please stop reading. **

* * *

Chapter 3: Yo-Yo's, Engagement Rings and Betting Pools

My list of ways to deal with the "Carter Problem" was pretty small considering I had been working on it for almost two days. Actually, it probably wasn't even appropriate to call it a list since I had only two ideas: get her transferred back to the Pentagon (or anywhere so long as it was far away from Cheyenne Mountain) or leave her stranded on some other world with out a GDO. Neither which I could accomplish because of the little problem of being dead. Plus, I'm sure I'd get some heavy resistance from Jack if I tried either one.

No, the only way I was going to get Jack to stop thinking about Carter was to sit him down and tell him all the reasons why he shouldn't be with her. And for that, I had been able to come up with quite a long list. For example:

Carter is a scientist

Carter is way too smart

every time Carter went off world Jack would worry himself sick

Carter is in the military

Carter is under his command

Carter can handle a gun (always scary if you ever break up – don't ask me how I know)

Carter has a PhD

And (most importantly) it would make my job a lot harder

And the list went on from there.

All I had to do was wait for Jack to come back from his weekend with Kerri. Yup, all I had to do was wait… like I had been for two days. First I had wandered the SGC, finding out who was still here and who had either died or left. Lots of people were new. But terrorizing the gate technicians had only been fun until they began whispering about calling the General back in and the base gossip didn't hold my attention like I had hoped so I soon headed back to Jack's office and started work on my solution to the "Carter Problem."

What I really wanted to do was have some fun time with my best friend but he had ordered me to stay in the mountain until he came back. I guess it was fair; I wouldn't want some ghost spying on me and my girlfriend. So I had reconciled myself to playing with Jack's toys.

Being a general really was the life for me I had quickly decided. You got a comfy chair and no one went rifling through your stuff. I had my feet up on Jack's desk and a yo-yo in my hand. I had found a total of five yo-yo's so far hidden in various places in Jack's office, taped under the chair, hidden in the plants, above the door frame; maybe he was afraid of having them confiscated. The one I was currently playing with had come from the very back of the most bottom drawer that held all his Classified files and it lit up with bright colors when I ever sent it into motion.

Growing tired of the yo-yo, I went to put it back into the drawer and find some other hidden toy to play with when a small box tucked way into the corner of the drawer caught my eye. I reached for it but when my fingers touched the soft velvet covering I hesitated. This couldn't be a –

Yup, it was a jewelry box. And it had a ring inside of it.

My feet slid off the desk as I straightened in Jack's chair to look at the simple gold and diamond band. This wasn't the wedding band he had given to Sara; that one had been much gaudier. Which meant that Jack must have bought this one with the intention of asking someone to marry him. It had to be Kerry… right? I mean Jack wasn't that stupid. He couldn't possibly – he couldn't have really meant this for Carter? Right?

But before I could really contemplate just what I was going to do about this new development, the door creaked open. I threw the ring back into the drawer and slammed it shut just as Jack walked in, his face stormy. Something was up. I made to gather up my lists before Jack could spot them, I didn't want to get in his way right now and I had a feeling that seeing a list of how to get rid of a girl he had some sort of weird obsession with wouldn't be very good for my health, dead or not.

"Hey, Jack," I said cheerily, placing my hands over the lists. "How was everything with Kerry?"

When Jack looked at me, it was as if he had forgotten that I was here. "Oh, just dandy," he said, slamming the door shut behind him. I jumped out of the chair as Jack made his way towards me. "We barbecued."

"Oh well, barbecue is good."

"Yeah, good until –" Jack stopped and picked up two pieces of paper off his desk which I had forgotten about in my haste to get out of his way. My face paled. "What is this?" Jack's voice was sharp, his words clipped.

"Those? Well, those are just – I was just thinking about things and –"

"Get. Out. Now."

"Jack, really…"

"You know, on second thought I'll leave. I don't want to see you right now. If I catch you following me, you'd wish you were still a Goa'uld." The two lists I had made fell crumpled to the floor as Jack stormed out.

He didn't have to tell me twice, I followed him out and down the control room stairs. Hey, all he said was that he didn't want to catch me.

888888

Jack finally stopped in a small isolation room near the infirmary. I watched him go into the empty room and took up watch right outside where I could hear everything. There was a loud bang and the sound of metal hitting the cement. I resigned myself to staying outside the room; there was something to be said about Jack's temper.

The banging lasted for a few minutes and then Jack fell silent. "Well, Danny-boy. Here I am," he said rather loudly. "You said if I ever wanted to talk about 'stuff' all I had to do was say the word. You hear that? I want to talk."

When no one answered he tried again. "Daniel!" There was the sound of something glass shattering. "Why?" I peaked around the corner and found Jack sloped against the wall, head buried in his hands. Tipped on its side, instruments spread everywhere, was a metal cart and a hole through a computer monitor that was just the size of a fist. Sure enough, when I looked closer, Jack's right hand was covered in blood. There was no Daniel; I didn't know how Jack expected him to show up out of the blue anyway.

"Why?" he repeated more slowly. "Why are things so messed up? It wasn't supposed to be this way. I was retired, you know. I was done. I was enjoying my recently divorced, retired life. The Stargate wasn't supposed to be part of it. I was never supposed to see you again and I was not supposed to meet her.

"Carter walked into that briefing room and it was like my world stopped. Maybe it wasn't love right away, but I was attracted to her. I definitely didn't want to arm wrestle, I wanted to kiss her. Which is so wrong because I only knew her name and she was under my command, she still is. Maybe that's why I didn't want her on the mission. Because something inside of me knew that we were supposed to be together. Is that how it was when you met Sharea?

"You don't know this, but this room is where we locked everything up – after the Zarc testing or whatever that thing was. It's the closest we ever came to full out admitting that we liked each other and she said we could leave it in the room. _This_ room. I asked her if she was okay with that when really I wanted to tell the world, heck the Galaxy, that I cared about her."

I turned away from the infirmary doors and began walking. My mind was spinning, memories of the few hours I had spent with Captain Carter before I died, memories of the few times I had seen Lt. Colonel Carter since I had returned all jumbling together. I was getting a migraine.

Outside of the commissary I came across the same airman who had introduced Agent Kerry Johnson a few days ago. Did he know that Jack was in love with his 2IC?

"Walter, you still taking bets?" asked a man walking right towards us. Walter looked up from his paper and I stepped back so as not to be trampled on.

"Depends on the nature," the sergeant answered.

The other man, the name on his uniform said Reynolds, held up a wad of money. "Fifty dollars says that when O'Neill finally goes and sees old Jacob that he'll tell him to take care of his daughter, and he agrees to."

"Nothing on how much O'Neill will argue that she deserves better?" Walter asked, pulling out a small notepad and jotting the bet down.

"Are you kidding me? General Carter is actually going to give his permission and you think O'Neill will still say no?" Reynolds laughed and the two began walking down the hall. I followed.

"There are some who say he will. There are some who are saying that Jacob is going to tell O'Neill to leave his daughter alone."

"Personally, if it were me, I would." Walter turned and gave Reynolds a questioning look. "Just think about it, if I had a daughter as hot as Carter and then found out that she had Jack as her CO – well I'd be using all my powers as a General to get her transferred."

"I wonder what happened when they first met? You know, I have some bets in here that Jacob will actually ask O'Neill to get rid of Shannahan –" Walter continued as they rounded a corner but I had stopped and didn't hear the rest of the conversation.

They knew.

They knew and they were taking bets on it.

What's more Carter's father apparently knew that she and her CO were sort of a "thing." So what did this say about the whole Jack and Kerry thing? And what about this Pete guy I had heard about a few times? Was I wrong? I guess I had to consider the possibility that maybe I had it back words, that maybe Kerry was the one who was keeping Jack from happiness.

I sank down against the wall and rested my head on my knees. Maybe if I just sat here and waited it would all go away and return to normal. Carter would go back to being a normal keyed up scientist with a new toy, speaking babble and be demoted back down to Captain. Dr. Jackson would come around the corner with his usual allergy problem. Jack would go back to being a sarcastic and sometimes cranky old Colonel and I would be alive once more with my very own command.

But when I opened my eyes and looked back around nothing had changed. My task was still the same only now I had to decide who Jack's soul mate is.

Maybe ascension is overrated.

88888888

It's Carter. Jack's soul mate is Carter.

How did I know?

Well the plain truth is that it's kind of obvious. I can see how much he loves her in the way that he holds her and the softness of his voice. It's clear that she loves him too. They fit together, I just didn't want to see it.

Of course, it helped that Kerry broke up with Jack. Once that happened, it didn't take long for Jack to find her at her father's beside. He didn't seem to be angry with me anymore or maybe he was just choosing to ignore me but I was watching him closely and for the first time since I showed up, Jack finally seemed at peace.

So maybe Carter wouldn't have been my first choice for my friend. So maybe there were going to be problems with the whole air force regulations things. But so what.

Jack would be happy. Sam would be happy. And I was going to get my second chance at life.

All in all, I think I did a pretty good job at being a higher power. I've got this whole fairy tail nonsense down. Happy endings, soul mates… maybe I should do this for a living.


	4. Dreams, Hearts and Rules

A/N: Okay, still not the end, one more chapter left after this. But I promised they would start coming faster so here it is. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter a bit more then the last one. I most certainly do. Let me know what you think. Oh and I used bits and pieces from "Children of the Gods," "The Enemy Within" and "Grace." Hope it's still okay with all those bits and pieces, I couldn't resist.

**Warning: this has HUGE spoilers for the season 8 episode Threads. If you don't want to know what happens, please stop reading.**

(of course, if you are a Sam/Jack shipper and you haven't seen Threads… what are you waiting for?)

* * *

Chapter 4: Dreams, Hearts and Rules 

Even though I was never actually given any specific set of rules I had to follow to get Jack to realize his soul mate, I somehow just knew they were there and what they were. Like the fact that I _could_ affect the physical world if I really wanted to, but I shouldn't. Or that I could say anything I wanted to Jack, even my real mission, but I really shouldn't. They were my unwritten guidelines. Or that's how I treated them anyway.

But there was one rule that I knew that the higher powers were serious about and that was that I was not to even try talking to _anyone_ besides Jack. Well, I was going to break that one too.

I found Sam Carter in her lab, fast asleep on a pile of books, some alien device lying near her open hand. She must have dozed off mid project, which wasn't surprising really. It had been almost two days since her father had died and I had only seen her leave base once. She had come back wearing her military mask but I could tell that underneath that emotionless exterior, she was crying. Then there had been the whole fiasco with Anubis and the ancient weapon. The arrival of Dr. Jackson was the only time I had seen her really smile. Through all of this though, I hadn't seen her take more then a few hours break and she only ate when someone escorted her to the commissary and watched over her shoulder until she had taken every last bite. It was usually Teal'c who had had the duty shoved onto him by Jack who should have been the one going to make sure she was alright.

Instead he was sitting in his office, growling at anyone so unfortunate to ask him a question and refusing to talk to me about the one thing he needed to talk about, Sam. After Daniel had descended and the group had split I went in to ask Jack what the hell he was doing. He hadn't said anything that wasn't completely necessary to Sam since her father died and I wanted to know why. I wanted to know why he wasn't sweeping her off her feet and telling her how much he cares for her. I wanted to know why he was keeping me from ascending.

"I love her. There, you happy Kawalsky? I said it, I love her," Jack had said to me. "That's why I won't say anything. If I did, we'd both be court marshaled and while I'm ready to retire, Carter's got her whole future ahead of her."

And after that he threatened me with disembodiment if I said another word about her.

Of course, now I realized why The Powers That Be gave me this rather unenviable job instead of doing it themselves: they thought it was near to impossible. That and they were probably afraid of Jack's temper. Luckily I wasn't. I was determined to see it all the way through, however.

I was also starting to understand that I was going about this in the completely wrong way because it wasn't just Jack who needed to realize he was being an idiot.

Jack deserved some happiness in his life and if Sam was going to bring him that, then so be it. When she was around, Jack calmed significantly. He became patient (for Jack) and was more willing to listen. He wasn't the same Jack O'Neill that I had known before. She had changed him, for the better. Even I could see that. This is why I was taking a risk, breaking the rules and jeopardizing my chance to ascend, because my friend deserved it. And so did Sam.

Ascension is definitely overrated.

I placed a hand on her shoulder and she shifted slightly under the weight. Okay, to be honest I didn't quite know how to do this. It hadn't been covered in the "How to Make Your Best Friend Fall in Love With His 2IC" manual. I moved my hand from her shoulder and placed it on her head, made my mind blank and mentally pushed. The walls of her lab faded around us and the harsh glare of her computer was replaced with the soft overhead light of the briefing room.

Words were coming out of my mouth without permission as I responded to a statement I hadn't heard. "But of course you go by 'Sam.'"

And there she stood in her dress blues; once again a Captain. A dream then; or a memory.

"You don't have to worry, Major." The smirk she was giving me was every bit as fierce as it had been in real life. "I played with dolls when I was a kid."

"G.I. Joe?" I heard myself ask. There was a bite in my voice that I didn't remember. Is that how I had sounded or was it simply how Carter saw me, a threat?

"No. Major Matt Mason."

"Oh," I said simply and felt my body turn to continue the dream just as it had been played out. No, I had to resist this. This had to be Carter's subconscious, this had to be what she remembered about me. But I had to step out of this memory and get back to business. Jack's soul sort of depended on it.

To bad gaining control was like trying hold water in your hands. I struggled to hold on as the image of Ferretti began to flicker. "Wait," I managed to get out. She looked at me with those large blue eyes and I felt the extra people slowly slip away. "We had this conversation eight years ago. Why bring it up?"

I could feel her mind shift; the power of this dream shift. Her uniform flickered between her dress blues and the more casual wear I had seen her in lately; from her rank of captain to the golden leaves of Lt. Colonel.

"Was I always just 'The Girl,' Kawalsky? Always the 'Scientist?' The soldier who stepped in without being asked?"

"I never got to know you. I died, remember?"

Her smile softened and she nodded. "General O'Neill has your stereo, you know."

"Really?"

"Yeah, he never uses it. Just stares at it whenever he starts to forget why he's still fighting the Goa'uld."

It had more of an effect on me then she probably meant it to. A bone jarring stab that I didn't know Jack anymore. I hadn't been a part of his life and she had. Carter knew his habits and his nuances; she knew when he was just putting on a strong face and when he was trying to hide.

But my confession gave her more power and the briefing room morphed into the control room where my fingers began pressing buttons on the dialing computer.

"Kawalsky, what the hell are you doing?" I heard Carter yell and automatically my arm reached around to throw her into a wall.

"No! I'm not a Goa'uld," I said, gripping the edge of the desk to keep myself from following through with her dream. "I'm trying to fix things."

I had to gain control or I'd be stuck here in her dreams and memories until she woke. Don't ask me how I knew; it was just one of those ascension things. But I didn't feel like reliving the worst moments of my life through her eyes.

"We'll have to run some diagnostics, do some simulations," Carter said as she appeared at my side, "but it shouldn't be too difficult to locate the problem."

"I'm not here to fix the Stargate," I replied angrily. "There's nothing wrong with the bloody Stargate. I'm here to fix this!" And with every ounce of control I could gather I shifted us back to the briefing room and brought in Jack. Carter's back was now towards me as she faced Jack. They were only inches apart but I had done that on purpose. Maybe if I could make her face her fears here, she'd be able to do it again in real life.

The dream Jack reached out and touched her face but she stepped back. "No," was all she said and he disappeared.

"Sam, he loves you," I said.

"But it doesn't really mater, does it?"

"You're soul mates," I tried again. "Doesn't that mean anything to you?"

"We're in the Air Force. That _should_ mean something to you." She began walking away from me, but I followed. I allowed her to control the background as we flirted through parks, houses, the SGC and places I didn't recognize. What was important was that I kept her talking.

"He'd retire for you." She didn't respond. "Jack would make it work."

"I wouldn't ask that of him."

"So you're going to suffer through eternity when you could have had everything you ever asked for but knowing you settled for average?"

"What's the point, when happy endings don't really exist?"

"Have you ever even tried?"

"He never lets me." She said softly and this time when we stopped I recognized the scene. It was Jack's house.

"Try again, Sam," I said. She looked at me with those bright eyes, shinning with tears. "Wake up, Sam. Wake up."

And then we were back in her lab. I stepped back as she raised her head from her laptop and blinked away the sleep. She sat there at her desk, shook her head and began working on her project again.

No. No. No.

This time when I placed my hands on her shoulders, I didn't push mentally. I pushed physically. And she tumbled right off her stool.

She was going to see Jack.

Right. Now.

888888

"Hi, Sir."

Jack raised his eyes to look at Carter, standing in his office doorway. Behind her stood Kawalsky, with a hand on her shoulder that looked more forceful then he would have expected. "Carter," he said, a frown on his face. He watched her take a few more forced steps steps into the room Kawalsky's doing but she didn't know that.

Jack just shrugged and motioned for her to take a seat. She looked ragged, there were bags under her eyes and her green BDU's were rumpled; she had most likely slept in them. "You all right Carter?"

"Rough night, Sir," Sam said.

Jack raised an eyebrow but said nothing, now was not a good time to point out that she should have gone home and slept in her bed."Something I can help you with?"

"Before Pete found out about all this," Carter said after a moment. She waved her hand to encompass the SGC. "He kept pushing to know more about me."

Kawalsky took his hands from her shoulders and slipped back to the door, beginning to shut it softly, trying his best to not arouse any more suspicion or make any interruptions. Jack was touched by this odd gesture of friendship.

Carter didn't notice the lack of pressure on her back and she didn't notice Jack's shifting gaze because she was staring down at her freshly manicured fingers. "He wanted to know about my family, my friends, my work." How did she keep her hands so soft? With the gun shooting, and the playing with doohickeys, it boggled his mind that she could keep a French manicure. And when did she have the time to go get one anyway? "Pete didn't believe me when I said I studied Deep Space Radar Telemetry." She smiled and finally looked up at him.

"As was evident when he _stalked_ you," he pointed out.

"Yes, sir." But his rather harsh interruption had made her lose her momentum and she fell silent. Kawalsky was still taking his time, inching the door shut and was looking for the best way to actually close it. It took several rather long minutes until Carter began to speak again and when she did it was hesitant. "The first night that Pete and I – "

Jack didn't want to hear the rest of the sentence. He really did _not _want to hear that Pete had… Don't. Even. Go. There. Closing his eyes, Jack braced himself for the rest of the sentence when a loud bang interrupted them. Carter turned to face the now closed door in surprise. Jack silently praised Kawalsky's wonderful timing. He'd have to look into giving him a medal.

"Sir?" Carter asked as she turned around, the surprise clear on her face. Jack loved it when she was confused.

"The wind?" Jack suggested.

"There is no wind down here, Sir."

He only raised an eyebrow and shrugged. "You were saying, Carter?"

She glanced at the door one more time and Jack could see the wheels in her brain turn, searching for some plausible explanation for the closing door. "Right, well, I once described to Pete my 'dream house' in an attempt to make him feel like we were connecting. I told him I wanted something small set apart from civilization just enough so that when I looked out the window I couldn't see the house next to me. I wanted a deck and a back yard large enough for a dog."

Jack leaned back into his chair; this house was starting to sound familiar. "I always figured you for a cat person."

She smirked. "I am sir. But you know, dogs aren't all bad, I could have both. If it were a large dog maybe; a retriever or a lab, nothing small and yippy."

"And did Pete find this dream house?" Jack pushed in a knowing tone.

"The kitchen wasn't yellow."

Oh yeah, he knew where she was going with this. And usually this is where he would stop her. A simple 'Carter' and she would pause just long enough for him to say 'I know.' And once again it would be all locked up; shut behind doors that both of them wanted so desperately to open but neither could see how.

But this time Sam wasn't going to give him a chance to cut her off. She took a couple of forceful steps towards his desk. "Sir, the truth is Pete could have never found the right house because it wasn't the house that was the dream."

Jack stood up, doing his best to look intimidating. He had to stop this before she did something she was going to regret. "Carter."

"No, sir," she replied just as fervently. "Just let me say it."

"Colonel Carter, I am your commanding officer and – "

"And I don't care," she yelled. Her outburst was enough to make them both pause. She looked surprised at herself and Jack couldn't help but stare. He had seen this side of Carter a few times before but it still amazed him. It was so unlike her. Her voice grew softer, "You think I don't know that? It's a problem I've had to deal with for eight years."

"Once you say it, Sam, you can't take it back," Jack said softly. "Once it's out there, you have to live with the consequences."

"I know, sir," she whispered. "But I need to say it, I need to know." She took a deep breath and clasped her hands together. Unless he was seeing things, she was actually shaking.

"Don't give up your career for this, Carter." Jack could feel his world come crashing down around him. There was bile in his throat and something dead in his chest. He wanted to hear it. He wanted to go to her, to comfort her, to hold her in his arms and never let go. But he couldn't do that. He couldn't and wouldn't ruin her career. He loved her too much.

Carter's head jerked up and an ironic smile came to her face. "Because you don't feel anything for me?"

"Carter."

"I'd give you up right now, sir, if I knew."

"That easy, huh?"

Jack could see the pain in her eyes and knew that his were mirror images.

"It'd be the hardest thing I ever did."

Jack dropped his head, shaking it slightly and came around the desk. When he looked back up at Carter, he saw her eyes were lined with tears. "This is all theoretical anyway," he said angrily. "You're getting married in two months."

"And you're seeing Kerry Johnson," she said. The silence that greeted that statement was deafening. Jack wished he had something to say but for once his bright wit had left him. Then Sam said softly, "I broke off the engagement."

Jack said nothing. He still had nothing that would be quite, well, appropriate to say.

"And the fact is, sir," Carter continued, "the reason I broke up with Pete was because I couldn't do it. I couldn't live my life content, knowing that maybe if I had just told you that I –"

"Carter, shut up," Jack said.

He didn't have anything to say.

But he did have something he wanted to do. He had always been better with actions then words, anyways.

Jack brought his hands up to cup her face, letting his fingers wind themselves into her blonde hair. And as he kissed her, Jack realized that this was right in a way that none of his other stolen moments had been. This wasn't a time loop, or an alternate reality.

This was Sam.

His Sam.


	5. Classified, Scrabble and Guardian Angels

A/N: Okay, so here it is… the end. I hope you all enjoyed! I've got a few one shot stories I'm working on so I hope you guys check those out. Thanks for all the support through this entire story, I had no idea it would be this popular.

* * *

Chapter 5: "Classified"s, Scrabble and Guardian Angels

I had judged Sam Carter wrong all those years ago when she was assigned to the Abydos mission. Sam had talent, and professionalism, even during this rather horrible mission that she herself had volunteered SG-1for. Her reasons had been that it would be an easy mission and wouldn't tax Daniel too much after his descension and that the Tokra didn't really trust any other SG team. Both of those reasons were valid, and true, but I think Sam only wanted to do this because she thought she had to.

Her father had only died two a week ago and they had held a memorial at the SGC for him, but the Tokra wanted his body back for their own farewell to both Jacob and Selmack. Jack had been briefing SG-3 to take Jacob's body back when Sam came in and demanded that she should be the one. Jack only hesitated for a moment before agreeing and right before they left, he gave me the task of following them to "get out of his way," as Jack put it. I knew it was to make sure Sam was okay but I didn't mind being given babysitter duty.

I watched Sam hand over her father's body and stand back with Daniel and Teal'c as they performed the rite that saw his body be dissolved in the whirl of an activated Stargate. The worst part was that she didn't cry, her lip didn't even quiver. Sam just wore a mask that was emotionless, and there was nothing I could do about it.

When it was over, we came back to the SGC right away. Daniel and Teal'c made planes to meet at the gym but Sam stalked off to the women's locker room without saying a word. From the control room, Jack watched her go and then returned to his office. I shook my head and made my way up after him. Something had to be done about the two them.

888888

Jack sat down at his desk with a heavy sigh and rifled through the papers Walter had put in his "MUST DO TODAY" pile and signed a couple of sheets from people he knew could trust to do the proper research before asking for money or equipment or whatever it was, but his heart wasn't really into reading reports today. Not that he ever was, but today it was just doubly hard. He rifled through the rest of the pile and on the bottom found two manila envelopes both labeled with big red _Classified_.

Opening the first one, Jack quickly scanned the request for Cater to be transferred to Area 51 and signed the line at the bottom. The other one then, he knew without opening it, was his own transfer orders, the ones Hammond had told him about weeks ago; just before the Replicator mess. Jack quickly tossed it into the pile of HOMEWORK (as Daniel had cleverly named it), promising himself he'd do it that night.

"Jack," Kawalsky said, suddenly appearing through the door and into Jack's study. "When are you going to retire?" Jack didn't say anything. "Sam needs you."

"I'm too old for her, Kawalsky. I can't give her what she deserves."

"But you can give her everything she wants, and that's what really matters here."

Jack's eyes moved to the classified envelope for a moment and then back to his friend. "What do you want me to do, Kawalsky? Ask her to marry me?"

"Yes," he said, slamming his hands down on Jack's desk. "O'Neill, Sam is absolutely in love with you, you're just being pig headed. You need to retire, get down on one knee and propose."

"With what?" Jack asked.

"You are an idiot. I know you have a ring in that drawer and I know you didn't buy it for Kerry Johnson."

Jack glared at Kawalsky but couldn't deny it. "Don't you have better things to do then bug me?"

"No," he said with a laugh. "Besides, I want to be here for the intergalactic event of the decade."

"Intergalactic event of the decade? That does have a nice ring to it I –"

The door opened without a knock and Daniel stuck his head in, glancing around suspiciously. "Who are you talking to Jack?"

"Don't you know how to knock?" Jack replied, irritated.

"I just came to remind you that team nights at your house today and that you might want to go make sure there is actually food in the fridge this time." Daniel was still searching the room but he couldn't see (or hear) Kawalsky laughing in the corner. "Sam said she was going to leave base at about seven and to expect her at about eight. Teal'c and I will probably be there earlier."

"Right, right," Jack murmured. "I'll see ya later then." Daniel shook his head and left, but he didn't close the door and Jack wouldn't have been surprised to find him standing off to the side hoping to catch Jack in the act of talking to himself. But Jack just shook his head at Kawalsky threateningly and stormed off to the locker room. He really did have a lot to do before Sam got there.

888888

It was a quiet team night, one of the quietest Jack could remember in a long time. They had forgone the movie and instead had pulled out a board game, Scrabble (Daniel's choice), but even that had eventually been abandoned mid game without any discussion. Jack glanced at the board and mentally sighed at the six words that had been made: freedom, fate, Goauld, secret, Zatarc, ascend. It was pretty obvious what was on everybody's mind.

Jack nursed his beer and glanced at his 2IC sitting across from him. Carter was starring off into space, an unopened bottle of Guiness in her hand and a sad smile on her face. He wished she would open up and just admit that losing her father was difficult; it was difficult for him and Jack was nothing more then a good friend. But Sam had always worried about looking strong.

On Jack's right, sat Daniel who was reading a book in some language Jack didn't know. Daniel had wisely chosen water tonight instead of beer. On his left, Teal'c sat in one of his arm chairs, watching him. Teal's always did seem to know when something was up.

"Come on, Jack," Kawalsky whispered in his ear. "You guys are more boring then watching paint dry." Jack wished he could say something or swish him away like a fly – the major had been hovering around all evening, complaining – but considering he was the only one who could see Kawalsky, Jack didn't want to worry his teammates. Or well, his former teammates; know was probably as good of time as any to tell them.

"There's going to be a lot of changes now," Jack started and paused when he realized he didn't really know what to say; he had never been very good at speeches. Behind him, he heard Kawalsky groan with exasperation.

Teal'c bowed his head. "Indeed. With the goa'uld gone, I will be taking an active role in the formation of the new Free Jaffa Nation."

"I put in a request for transfer to Area 51," Sam said, not looking anyone in the eye.

"Transfer accepted, Carter," Jack put in, remembering the papers he had looked at earlier today. He had meant to tell her right away, but with his own good news, it had been forgotten.

"Really, Sir?" Sam looked so expectant.

"Yeah, they want you to lead R&D." Sam's eyes widened but she didn't have time to say anything, because Daniel finally slammed his book shut and jumped into the conversation.

"This time, I'm going to make it to Atlantis," he said. Jack chuckled good naturally. "No one is going to delay it again."

"Knowing you, Danny-boy," Jack said, "I highly doubt that." Daniel glared at him, but Jack only grinned back, taking it all in stride. He was going to miss this.

"SG-1 is officially over then," Sam said. The group immediately sobered at the thought. "Who are you going to promote to replace us, sir?"

"Actually," Jack said, "Lieutenant Colonel Cameron Mitchells will be taking over SG-1, but it's going to have to be up to him and General Landry to pick who else will be on the flagship team." He paused and let the words sink in. "I've been promoted; I won't be running the SGC anymore. Instead, I'm in charge of Homeworld Security."

"That's great, Jack," Daniel said. Teal'c added his congratulations.

"Promoted!" Jack heard Kawalsky yell in the back ground as the man jumped to his feet. "Here I am trying to make you retire and you find a way around the chain of command, you sly dog. You could have told me."

Jack ignored him and Daniel and Teal'c; he only had eyes for Sam. She hadn't said anything one way or the other about his promotion, but she had to have realized what it meant for them; she was the smart one here after all.

"Sam," Jack said, getting to his feet and walking over to her. He thought about kneeling, but with his knees it just wasn't going to happen. Instead, Jack took her hands and pulled her to her feet, not letting go. "Sam, I know this is fast and I know it's inappropriate with you just calling off your engagement with Pete, but I love you. I can't even remember when I realized it, but I think I have ever since you walked into the board room eight years ago. And I'll wait, Sam. I'll wait however long you need me to, a year, two, ten. I want to marry you, Samantha; if you'll have an old war-scared man like me."

"Just shut up, Jack," she said, there were tears in her eyes, but she was smiling. "I love you too."

Kawalsky had disappeared, but Jack didn't notice. He had finally told her and she wasn't pushing him away. Like he had wanted to do so many times in the past eight years, Jack pulled her close to him, leaned down and kissed her. He could easily get used to this.

888888

In a flash, the walls of Jack's living room morphed into the open grassy field I had been offered this job on. The stargate stood behind me and the path was under my feet, there was nothing to it but to follow it so I started walking. Before I had gone five feet, the hooded man was beside me, having just appeared out of no where.

"Now what?" I asked.

"Now you are offered a choice," he said. "Do you wish to ascend?"

I didn't say anything and we walked in silence. Did I want to ascend? To tell you the truth, I wasn't quite so sure anymore. Did I want a second chance to live? Definitely. But I had just spent two weeks with this whole ascension thing and it had about driven me nuts; I wasn't sure if I could spend the rest of my life doing this sort of thing.

"Will I have to keep doing this?" I asked, half not wanting to hear the answer. "Will I have to keep being Jack's guardian angel?"

The man laughed, rich and deep. "Don't worry about that, we don't interfere with the lower planes. That's what we have people like you for."

"So I can sit on my ass for all eternity and do absolutely nothing?"

"Pretty much."

That settled it; ascension was the right thing for me. I smiled broadly and clasped my hands together. "I'm in." The man smiled and led me down the path, telling me things that I could only assume would broaden my mind.

I was going to get a second chance and this time I wasn't going to screw it up. I wasn't going to always expect the easy thing to happen, or that everything would go perfect. The only thing I was going to worry about was that I did the right thing each and every time I was faced with a challenge.

I stopped suddenly, a thought occurring to me. "What's going to happen to Jack?" I asked.

"Don't worry," he said. "Jack and Sam are going to be quite all right."

I nodded. "That's good." We started off on the road again and I let all lingering thoughts of Sam and Jack slip from my mind. I guess in way, they too had gotten a second chance at life. I could only hope that they weren't going to waste it.


End file.
